How To Write a Novel

Or at least how I plan to write my novels. Right now I'm tweaking a novel for release (aka Fine Drafting it). No matter how essential this step is, fine drafting a book doesn't feel like real writing, so I thought I would flex my writing muscles by trying to recapture what it took to bring this book into existence. What burbled up from the morass seemed about as wiry as Jeffy's run through gangland in the Family Circus cartoon that never made it to print (ask your parents kids). So. I decided to iron the process out and streamline the steps into what you might call “Ikea Instructions for Writing a Novel” a short simple guide to the mechanical side of bringing a book together.

One word of warning though, some of this is untested advice. It is a combination of the way I did it as well as the way I now see that I should have done it. Whether or not it actually works I won't know until after I write the next book. So take what you read here with a grain of salt.

Brainstorming

Focus: Generate random ideas to be used in the story.

Technique: On your hard drive, in a folder full of other brainstorm...

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State of the Union 2010

Admit it, that was great. Come on, it was awesome. You probably didn't even watch it did you? Well, if you missed the State of the Union Address then you missed out. Say what you like about him but Obama has once again showed us why he is the president. When Obama gives a speech, it ends and whether you agree with him or not you just feel compelled to say, "okay, sign...

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Cherub Pork

Cherub Pork is named after the Smashing Pumpkins song Cherub Rock which is likewise very simple, stripped down and yet absolutely smashing.

Set the oven to 350 degrees. Start the rice cooking.

Slice the porkloin down the center, much in the way you might cut open a sub roll, leaving the back hinge in tact. Spread flat on a cutting board and beat with a tenderizing mallet...

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Boskop Bee Bop

An interesting new development. Discover Magazine released an article about a new human ancestor which apparently had a bigger brain than you or I. They call it the Boskop and it lived in South Africa from 30,000 to 10,000 BC

http://discovermagazine.com/2009/the-brain-2/28-what-happened-to-hominids-who-were-smarter-than-us/article_view

I'm not sure if I agree with...

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On Eternity and Groundhog Day

I woke up this morning half-listening to an Atheist defend his beliefs in a Godless world through the notion that an eternity spent in a heavenly afterlife is not much of a reward at all. This is nothing new. I've been pondering the notion ever since I first listened to the song Heaven by the Talking Heads way back in the 80's (damn you David Byrne! Just kidding). No,...

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